destispell:

men: rape jokes hahaha! beating women haha! lol make me a sandwich whore! put on makeup fugly! hahaha!

women: those aren’t funny.

men: lighten up, it’s a joke wow must be on her period women are so emotional lol

women: i drink the tears of men, haha!

men: hOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU PROMOTE THE SUFFERING OF US MEN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE DONE FOR YOU? YOU WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT US. THATS NOT FUNNY AT ALL

stannismaekar:

Charles Dickens – First Sentence

David Copperfield

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.

Great Expectations

My father’s family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip.

A Tale of Two Cities

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Oliver Twist

Among other public buildings in a certain town, which for many reasons it will be prudent to refrain from mentioning, and to which I will assign no fictitious name, there is one anciently common to most towns, great or small: to wit, a workhouse; and in this workhouse was born; on a day and date which I need not trouble myself to repeat, inasmuch as it can be of no possible consequence to the reader, in this stage of the business at all events; the item of mortality whose name is prefixed to the head of this chapter.

Our Mutual Friend

In these times of ours, though concerning the exact year there is no need to be precise, a boat of dirty and disreputable appearance, with two figures in it, floated on the Thames, between Southwark bridge which is of iron, and London Bridge which is of stone, as an autumn evening was closing in.

Martin Chuzzlewit

As no lady or gentleman, with any claims to polite breeding, can possibly sympathize with the Chuzzlewit Family without being first assured of the extreme antiquity of the race, it is a great satisfaction to know that it undoubtedly descended in a direct line from Adam and Eve; and was, in the very earliest times, closely connected with the agricultural interest.

Dombey and Son

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

tagged → #YES #charles dickens

September 22nd, 1994 - FRIENDS pilot airs

“Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.”

tagged → #friends

theblueboxonbakerstreet:

curiousgeorgiana:

theladyofthorns:

#a man did not think this through

#a man looks at his life #a man looks at his choices

let-them-eat-vag:

ashoutintothevoid:

Emma Sulkowicz is on the cover of this month’s New York Magazine and that is the coolest thing wow

DUUUUDE this is a huge fucking deal honestly

let-them-eat-vag:

ashoutintothevoid:

Emma Sulkowicz is on the cover of this month’s New York Magazine and that is the coolest thing wow

DUUUUDE this is a huge fucking deal honestly

tagged → #WOW

clracomalfoy:

missing book quotes: 1/∞


Robb Stark & Family

madaboutasoiaf it got updated again and it does not seem like the end by the description.

I need the second episode like right NOW.

lesphantomoffleetstreet:

"People in musicals sing too much"

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"Boys who like musicals must be gay"

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"Musicals are repetitive"

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"Musicals last way too long"

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"Musicals are WAY too cheesy"

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"Musicals are just boring"

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"Musicals are childish"

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"People who like musicals are just sad lonely losers, and—"

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tagged → #this #musicals